Night Patrol
From Chinatown to Hollywood, the idiot cop Melvin (Murray Langston) who moonlights as the "Unknown Comic", his playboy partner, a police woman who packs a perfect 38 (Linda Blair), a pathological police chief, curvy dolls, neurotic shrinks and zany Hollywood agents all help to make the night patrol a little bit crazier than the rest of the force.
Member Reviews
This is definitely not good - Coconut_Willy
This movie absolutely has to be one of the most idiotic ever. A very general storyline that makes no sense what-so-ever. A neverending series of stupid situations that are sometimes even offensive. I watched this thinking that I might never have seen it but slowly I realized I did and that I had forgotten everything about it. There has to be hundreds of jokes in this film (or at least attempts at jokes) so of course, one would find a few funny but not many. The cast is surprisingly comprised of many well known people at the time and they do as good an acting job as possible under the circumstances but this cannot be saved. It's just plain bad. Minimal sets and locations, basic soundtrack and basic camera work. Completely forgettable. One star for the film and one more for a combination of factors; nice to see a few people that have not been seen since, a handful of funny jokes and the quality of the transfer to DVD. Not recommended.They euthuanize people with this, I hear - Fortey
I was moved by a considerable force to write something, anything, about this movie. That force was the entire, vast, timeless force of Creation that almost buckled across all the Universe when I watched this movie. I could feel reality and my tenuous grasp of it slipping away as I watched this, threatened at any moment to be sucked into an unimaginable beyond that has no name and is populated by nothing but the worst jokes ever. Jokes so bad that even basic rules of physics can't restrain them as they seek to sunder the very essence of what makes life and goodness and hope.
Dramatic? Melodramatic? Watch this movie, if you forgive the insult. Watch this movie and just marvel at everything that was done wrong. At every joke that you'll actually need to stop and think about, not because you don't "get it" but because, if you're not drooling in your own pudding already, you just won't be able to comprehend what simian, in what dark cave, suffering from severe malnutrition, could possibly have thought it was funny.
Scene after scene crash into one another like busloads of nuns and boy scouts in a melange of rancid chaos to make men weep. Coherency is abandoned like my will to live within moments. Nothing redeems this film, at all. Had gold dubloons spewed forth from my DVD player I would have thrown them back if it meant I could go back in time and simply know better than to watch this.
Worse yet is that you will watch too long. No matter how long you watch, even if you can't make it halfway through, it will be too much and you'll curse yourself for it, but you'll know why you did it. Stark, horrified disbelief that what you're seeing is real. That it, in itself, isn't the joke. A grand, Machiavellian farce meant to make us all feel the fool. But that would imply intelligence. And I am not convinced.
This film is worse than eternal torment in the bowels of hell. Hell would not allow this film.
Member Reviews
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This is definitely not good - Coconut_Willy
This movie absolutely has to be one of the most idiotic ever. A very general storyline that makes no sense what-so-ever. A neverending series of stupid situations that are sometimes even offensive. I watched this thinking that I might never have seen it but ...They euthuanize people with this, I hear - Fortey
I was moved by a considerable force to write something, anything, about this movie. That force was the entire, vast, timeless force of Creation that almost buckled across all the Universe when I watched this movie. I could feel reality and my tenuous grasp ...