Southland Tales
The future is just like you imagined.
Los Angeles, 2008: The city stands on the brink of social, economic and environmental disaster. Southland Tales is an epic story set over the course of three days that culminate in a massive 4th of July celebration. A large ensemble cast of characters includes Boxer Santaros, an action star stricken with amnesia, Krysta Now, an adult film star developing her own reality television project, and Roland Taverner, a Hermosa Beach police officer who holds the key to a vast conspiracy.
Member Reviews
Sometimes unmitigated disasters are the most fun - rnhaas
This is a terrible movie. There are so many things wrong with it, I would probably have to watch it five or six times, to make sure I got all of them. That being said, it isn't irredeemable, or worth ignoring altogether. It's not that it's so bad it's good, it's that somewhere, hiding in one of the biggest disasters I can remember watching, is an idea...well, rather about 100 ideas.
They would have been far better off making a TV show and, with better casting - and a producer with final cut! - it might have actually been something. There are way more ideas than any movie can handle, and certainly 13 hour long episodes might have led to something at least passable.
Despite its sheer awfulness on so many levels, there are actually some really funny moments (and many more moments that I know should be funny, if only a different director handled the material) and it feels to me like there is a short little thing in here that might have worked as a comedy.
So that expresses the dichotomy: enough ideas for a TV series, enough useable film for maybe an absurdist short film. I feel like this is the filmic equivalent of Sandinista! What this film needs is the equivalent of the producer on an album that tells the talented but overly prolific artist to drop two thirds of their songs.Southland? You Don't Want To Go There! - Myrrh
Wow. It is probably not possible to explain all the things that do not work in this movie. Sure, it hits lots of hot button topics (war, terrorism, pornography) but after the button has been hit, it is clear that no one knows what should happen next. So nothing really happens. Please do not expect a coherent plot. There are snippets of story arc here and there--kind of like in porn films. There is some nonsense about pizza delivery (or californian marxists in this case) to provide an alibi for the action, but expect no character development.
To give the film its due, it is kind of funny to see actors you know from other (and better) things assume silly names, but that does not take you very far. One gets the impression that the film's makers got together with their buddies and made a list of things that they thought would be really cool or subversive. And then they put them *all* in the film.
Recipe for Southland Tales:
"Hey man, what if Sarah Michelle Gellar was, like, a porn star with a reality TV chat show, and was launching her own energy drink?" Yeah, yeah, and what if the Rock had, like, amnesia from being sent through time?" "Oh yeah! And we could have him twiddle his fingers in front of his chest all the time like an old school movie villain..."
Repeat until 144 minutes have elapsed.
Laugh all the way to the bank. (Or not.I read that it made back about 2% of its original 17 million investment.)
By far the most alarming thing was in the Special Feature in which the director and others involved with the film discussed it very seriously as an important political satire for our times.Grammy for worst movie - fialka
So you think you've seen your share of horrible movies... but then you see Southland Tales!!! I mean, what were they thinking producing this movie??? I can not understand how ROCK accepted?! I watched to the end and I was the only one out of crowed of 4... only to find that it is awful awful awful.
*** DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND AVOID BY ALL MEANS ***
Member Reviews
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Sometimes unmitigated disasters are the most fun - rnhaas
This is a terrible movie. There are so many things wrong with it, I would probably have to watch it five or six times, to make sure I got all of them. That being said, it isn't irredeemable, or worth ignoring altogether. It's not that it's so bad it's good, ...Southland? You Don't Want To Go There! - Myrrh
Wow. It is probably not possible to explain all the things that do not work in this movie. Sure, it hits lots of hot button topics (war, terrorism, pornography) but after the button has been hit, it is clear that no one knows what should happen next. So nothing ...Grammy for worst movie - fialka
So you think you've seen your share of horrible movies... but then you see Southland Tales!!! I mean, what were they thinking producing this movie??? I can not understand how ROCK accepted?! I watched to the end and I was the only one out of crowed of 4... ...